Long Introduction:
Why I Became a Veggie
They said it couldnt be done, but I am proud to announce that on this very day, I have been a vegetarian for an entire year. Applause! However, I can’t state that this journey has been the easiest one, as there are certain social factors one forgets to take into account when completely uprooting their diet. There was much frustration from my peers as they had to prepare a different meal just for me, and even more confusion as to why I had made this life changing step. “How come you are suddenly a vegetarian now, Jared?” they may all ask, to which Id usually respond “it’s a long story”.
But now, for the first time, I shall reveal the exact reasons as to why the decision was made, mainly so that I am no longer obliged to answer that question ever again. I can just provide this URL! As follows:
Interestingly enough, my initial inner flirtations with meat abstinence took place within this very blog, back in 2013. I was writing an article about the meaning of life (titled Everything, All Of The Time), when I started to get these weird mental flashes.
EATING LIFE IS WRONG is what they said, and, naturally, I’d freak out, quickly shoving a ball of bacon into my mouth just to dampen them crazy thoughts. And it worked, for a while.
Except some sort of realisation had already been made. I remember seeing a video of a cute baby pig rolling around in the grass, and I’d say “awww” and then
BAM! EATING LIFE IS WRONG. Holy shit, what the fuck was that?? I’d panic, and remind myself that meat was tasty and digestible and filled with protein and
blaaah, and then it would slowly fade into the depths of my mind once again. Another big example of when this intrusive thought took place, was when I saw an image of these two dudes that had caught this MASSIVE fish. They were crouched next to it, all smiles and thumbsup, while the gaping animal lay on the boat with a sad stupid look on its face. There was a large gash in between its eyes, and that’s when I realised you probably have to smack a thing that sizes brain out just to immobilise it and then
BAM! EATING LIFE IS WRONG. I felt sick and shameful and actually mourned for the death of this beautiful creature, even though it was gross stinky fish
So needless to say, there was a seed and it was growing. At this point, I had started to embrace it a little bit, figuring that even if vegetarians were assholes, I kinda understood where they were coming from and admired them on a certain level. A part of me started to consider giving it a go one day, without realising that one day would come sooner than I thought, on the 6th of November, 2014.
I was drunk and stumbling around the dirty streets of Stratford, when I remembered I was hungry, ducked into some dodgy kebab shop, and ordered a burger. Whilst eating it on my way home, I was repulsed. The meat was grey and soggy and spongy, kinda crumbled into strings within my mouth, and tasted like absolutely nothing at all. The next morning I awoke with a miserable tummy, and in that moment I made the decision (without telling anyone) to quit dead animals for one month. Just to see.
That month was interesting. I read a lot of stuff, and not only learned how to make my diet even more nutritional than before, but also discovered the horrors of the industry. Furthermore, there were countless omens which presented themselves out of nowhere. All of a sudden, pro-vegetarian articles were everywhere, and complete strangers would talk to me about the advantages of a veggie lifestyle without even knowing my current stance on the matter. But the biggest game changer came when I went and saw Morrissey live in concert, only to be bombarded with imagery of bull fights and slaughter houses, churning my stomach upside down and prodding my sympathy glands with heated irons. After the show, I witnessed some concert goers buying meatball subs, and I thought to myself “How can you do this?” And from then on (coupled with the fact that I had started to feel amazing on a moral and physical level), I decided that a month was not enough. I needed to dedicate myself to this movement, full time.
Once you turn vegetarian, you do become a little obsessive about the practice (please forgive all of us), and as a result, we read and learn a lot about food. And so, to celebrate my anniversary and my yearly collection of knowledge, here are the top 10 most convincing reasons I found to make the change. Join us!
Jooiiin uuusss!! 01. You Will Live Longer
It’s no secret anymore, and (try as they might) the meat fanatics are having more and more of a difficult time denying the simple truth that meat isn’t very healthy for you (especially in the excess the general population are consuming it). Here are some facts to scare you a little further:
A vegetarian diet lowers blood pressure substantially. In fact, reports are coming in that vegetarians are 32% less likely to develop heart disease, which is actually the biggest killer
IN THE WORLD, by the way. One study revealed that veggies under the age of 65 were 45% less likely to suffer a heart attack than meat eaters, and while this percentage drops to 8% for them over 80 year-olds, it’s still a pretty fucking huge number if you compare it.
Research is also seriously starting to unveil some worrying links between meat eating and various types of cancer, including colon, prostate, pancreatic, gastric, and breast. Three of those body parts can be related to sexual relationships, and so you might want to pause and let that one sink in a little bit. Hell, it was even as recent as last week when information went viral, stating that bacon could be on the same cancerous level as cigarettes.
Furthermore, a vegetarian diet is also well known to lower the risk of diabetes, so theres a little bonus point for you.
Due to all of these facts (as well as the link between meat and obesity, one of the biggest killers in the US), it is no surprise that vegetarians simply live longer. Many studies agree that it’s up to 20% longer, on average 10 more years than our carnivorous counterparts.
And honestly, what is more important than your life?
P.S: I refuse to fall into the debate of whether eating meat is even natural or not, but I will urge you to take a look at this little convincing image I stumbled upon. Use it, dont use it, die young, whatever.
02. You’re a Fucking Hero
If an animal falls down a well and is trapped, screaming for help, and then some dude climbs down there and saves its life, would you not consider that person a hero? Well, you can be that person. Without even leaving your house.
I think the reason why many people stop eating meat is for ethical purposes, and I am not much different. Over the last year I have become so passionate about the travesty of animal mistreatment, that I really struggled to write this piece without getting angry, patronising, or simply downright rude. As a result, I am currently taking a deep breath, and attempting to tell you what I think, calmly and rationally.
First and foremost, please understand that I am not, nor ever was, an above average animal lover. I dig animals for sure, what’s not to dig? They are cute and they are trippy and I don’t think anyone could naturally have anything against them. But what this article comes down to, is that they have a life, just like you and me. They have eyes and they have brains and they feel fear and they feel suffering. And that’s what freaks me out.
Deny it all you want, but every single one of these creatures are being bred and tortured and murdered in the most horrific of ways. “But Jared, there are humane slaughter houses that...” stop. Do your research. Ensure you have a strict definition of what humane means to you, and then find out what these places are actually doing. 99.99% of these businesses are worse than you think, and most of them feature pretty much the cruellest of all living conditions you can imagine—much worse than anything any group of humans ever went through in history, and all it would take is a simple Google search to prove this to you. I refuse to use PETA shock tactics on my holy blog, but I double dare you to take a little look around and challenge the convenience you have accepted, hopefully exposing some guilt you have been taught to ignore.
Beyond even this, what it comes down to, is that people are literally digesting flesh which had energy of a living being running through it, just like you and me. It is more than likely that the last bit of energy to ever run through the meat you chew, was one of immense confusion and panic. You are allowing the emotion of fear to be digested through your own body, and I simply refuse to put myself through that. There is no reason. There are other options. You don’t have to do this.
And that is why vegetarians are heroes. It has been estimated that the average veggie saves 100-400 animals a year from this misery and death. 100 TO 400 FUCKING LIVES SAVED! EACH VEGETARIAN! IN ONE YEAR! Tell me that isn’t heroic. And even if you dont think so, I am still honoured to do my part.
However, if you choose to ignore these facts, that’s fine, but please do me a favour and never complain about animal product testing or dog fights or bull fights or trophy hunting or circus animals or Sea World ever again, because you are a hypocrite with no value for the life of your fellow beings anyway. The meat industry is literally the worst thing that has ever happen to earthly suffering, and it takes place in unnecessarily mass amounts on a daily basis. You are a part of this problem. And you might as well eat your dog and your cat while you’re at it, because I am yet to understand the difference.
Ok, sorry about that! I’ll try to be more funny from now on.
03. You Will Be Happier And More Sexy
Depressed? Anxious? Stressed? Maybe you should cut down your meat intake, mate, as this action has been proven to make you a happier chappy.
The reasons as to why this happens are varied and unclear, but one decent theory is down to magnesium, which is essential for energy, fighting headaches, improving sleep and regulating your mood. Meat has very low levels of magnesium (except for some seafood) and so if mountains of steak or chicken is the staple of your diet, perhaps reconsider.
Another research piece split people into three groups, allowing the first to eat meat, the second only fish, and the third only veggie. After two weeks, the participants showed massive differences in happiness from one group to another, and as you’d assume, the vegetarian team soared miles higher than rest. Intrigued, the researchers found that the veg group had a much lower circulation of arachidonic acid, a substance only found in animal foods, known to inflame the brain and possibly contribute to Alzheimers disease. While this isn’t a directly proven link to happiness, it could be the first step in creating one.
Part of this happiness, however, may also be related to your quality of life. Besides the health benefits stated in point #1, a plant-based diet is loaded with fibre, which keeps you way more regular and less sluggish than meat foods, which in turn should make you feel a lot more energetic than before. Whee!
And finally, you will look much sexier. While going veggie doesn’t guarantee weight loss, it is generally understood to have much lower fat and sugar content than a meat diet, which should trim down your flabs substantially. In fact, over 65% of American adults aged 20 and up are overweight or obese, but obesity among vegetarians and vegans is below 10%.
Furthermore, many veggies report their skin, hair, and nails have never looked healthier, while other sources claim a plant-based diet actually slows down the process of ageing itself. And being attractive is the most important thing there is!
04. You’ll Learn How to Cook Properly
I don’t care what you say, anyone can slap a slab of steak or chicken onto a plate and call it a meal, but when your options are a little more constricted, you are forced to think further out the box to create a properly substantial meal. For some, this may sound like a ballache, but for me, it was a godsend, as suddenly food grew a new life as my creativity blossomed within the limitations. Vegetables were no longer the healthy side bit of the meal I soldiered through just to hit the mains. It now
was the mains, and thus began the mission to somehow rival the taste I once knew before.
So for the first time in my life, I bought a (vegetarian) cookbook, and shit got much more interesting from that purchase onward. Meals morphed into experiments and adventures; combinations mattered so much more; spices and nuts and literally any vegetable was now up for consideration; and eventually, I reached the point where my meals were more colourful and far tastier than they ever were before. Basically, if you suck at cooking and want to actually learn about food, go veggie, and then impress your friends and lovers.
Bonus Point #1: You will also find yourself abruptly aware of nutrients and vitamins when you drastically alter your diet, and I personally found myself paying so much more attention to what I was putting into my body, meaning my meals are now also fuckoff healthier.
Bonus Point #2: Deciding what to buy at the supermarket or ordering from a restaurant has never been simpler! It’s like, uhm, I’ll have the veggie offer, thanks a lot :P
05. Some Of Your Favourite People Do It
It helps to take the first step (or even reaffirm your previous decision) when you remind yourself how many of the coolest people in the world subscribe to the same principles as you do. Here are 25 of my besties to get you started (complete with relevant quotes!):
"So I am living without fats, without meat, without fish, but am feeling quite well this way. It always seems to me that man was not born to be a carnivore."- Albert Einstein "Im a vegan, but I like to look good, too."- Andre 3000 (concerning the hypocrisy over his tendency to wear fur, naughty boy)
"Soon after I went vegan, I saw some documentary footage of what happens in the factory farming of cows... It sealed the deal."- Anthony Kiedis (Red Hot Chili Peppers) “I could never see myself eating a best friend.”- Betty White “The eating of meat extinguishes the seed of great compassion.”- Buddha "My mother taught me a lot about respect for all living things—for plants and animals. I am a vegetarian. I was brought up that way."- David LaChapelle “I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms.”- Ellen DeGeneres “Why are vegans made fun of while the inhumane factory farming process regards animals and the natural world merely as commodities to be exploited for profit?”- Ellen Page “I became vegetarian a very long time ago, around age eleven, when I realized that there was very little difference between a chicken, a cow, a horse, or my dog. Making that odd distinction between who we eat and who we don’t seemed very unnatural to me, so I just stopped eating animals entirely.”- Fiona Apple “To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being. I should be unwilling to take the life of a lamb for the sake of the human body. I hold that, the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man.”- Mahatma Gandhi "Im pretty healthy so I think that helps a lot. Ive been that way for a long time. Twenty solid years of eating vegetarian/vegan and taking care of myself. That probably helps the preservation process."- Jared Leto “One day I had a stew and there was a bit of meat in the stew and it was so raw that I just identified immediately that this was an animal and I just thought, ‘No, I’m not into this’”- Kate Bush “I have from an early age abjured the use of meat, and the time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men.”- Leonardo Da Vinci “Then came the day that made the crucial difference. I looked down from my terrace hanging over the Thames one morning. It was low tide and there, stranded on the pebbles, was a four-legged corpse—hairless, white and bloated. Was it a calf or a sheep or a goat or a dog? I stared at it until the tide rose and washed it away. For 24 hours I was off my food. When I started eating again, I couldnt face meat—fresh or tinned.”- Ian McKellan "So many good plants/fruits/veggies to eat you aint gottttta eat dead animals!"- Miley Cyrus "We get violently upset when animals eat human beings. So why shouldnt we feel horror when human beings eat animals?"- Morrissey “Part of my reason for being vegetarian was because it practices respect and love for life all through the day, so three times a day, you make a decision to eat things that have not been killed.”- Natalie Portman "How we treat the vulnerable is how we define ourselves as a species"- Russell Brand “If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.”- Sir Paul McCartney “You eat food containing fear, that’s why you’re scared.”- Ninja (Die Antwoord) “Good Viking genes, being vegetarian and having rowdy dogs and kids definitely keep me in shape. Not eating meat gives me the energy I need to keep up with work, family and travel—Im very active.”- Pamela Anderson “I like animals, all animals. I wouldnt hurt a cat or a dog—or a chicken or a cow. And I wouldnt ask someone else to hurt them for me. Thats why Im a vegetarian.”- Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones) “Almost as soon as I went vegan, people started telling me that my skin looked great, and that I appeared younger, slimmer, and healthier. Im convinced that of all the changes Ive made to my lifestyle, its the adoption of a vegan diet that has been best for me—physically, mentally, and certainly spiritually.”- Steve-O “The first thing was Meat is Murder [a song by The Smiths]. The second thing was getting sick all the time, every time I ate meat—getting sick a lot ... and the third thing was I started going out with this girl, and I wanted to impress her so I pretended Id been vegetarian all along. I immediately felt a lot better, a lot healthier. I was concerned, as many people are, about that youre not going to get all the things you need in your diet, youre going to get sick all the time, but the exact opposite happened to me, so I never looked back. It was never a problem straight off."- Thom Yorke “When I was 23, 24, I used to have a really bad runny nose, mucus, tons of acne, reddishness all over. A woman on a bus I took looked at me and said I was lactose intolerant. She said, ‘Stop dairy for three days, and all this is going to go away.’ I stopped dairy, and sure enough it was gone three days later, never to return except when I get dairy accidentally.”- Woody Harrelson Pick your own favourites from this massively extensive list via Happy Cow :)
06. Morning Afters Are Hard Enough
You know how it is: you’ve drank a few more beers than you should have, you’re stumbling along, homeward bound, and then you sniff out something edible. Before you know it, you are the proud new owner of six pieces of chicken, twelve spicy bbq wings, two bags of fries, one kebab, and a large Diet Pepsi. You don’t even like Pepsi! What’s worse, you bought it from that seedy joint down the road where the counter is made from cling film and the roaches deliver your order. It’s no wonder you woke up with the runs this morning whilst perpetually burping the taste of fried skin! Damnit, arent hangovers are bad enough?!
Granted, this all could have been easily integrated with my earlier health points (or even the sexy ones, fatty), but I split it off here because this is an oft-ignored factor which I found particularly beneficial. McDonalds has faded into the mist. KFC is just a smell. Fast food no longer taints my weekends and is (almost) dead to me. Of course, when you’re hungry and need a quick fix, this factor can be somewhat annoying, but believe me, you’ll always find a way to eat, and more often than not, wake up feeling much less guilty and much less gross about the lower calorie less fatty drunk munchies you consumed instead. As for the hangover and the hazy memory of whatever embarrassing thing you did the night before, that’s a separate issue (which I can help you with too, just ask).
07. Save The Planet And End World Hunger
People generally (conveniently) overlook this one, but by becoming a veggie, you not only reduce your carbon footprint
drastically (more than almost any other method, in actual fact), but also aid the end of starvation.
The UN themselves have calculated that the climate emissions from the meat industry make up 18% of the global total—more than cars, planes, and all other modes of transport combined. But even this figure has come under scrutiny for being far too low, as two World Bank scientists estimate it goes up to a majority 51% when including the gases from manure, the oil burned by transporting the carcasses, the electricity required to cool the meat, the gas we use to cook it, the energy needed to plough the crops to feed the animals, and the pumping of the water these poor creatures need to drink. That’s over half our climate issues gone simply by quitting meat,
poof.
Beyond this, there is that pesky issue of landmass. Friends of the Earth (an international network of environmental organizations in 74 countries) estimate 6 million hectares of forests are destroyed each year just to cater for livestock and to grow the crops to feed them with. That’s twice the size of Belgium, fyi. Furthermore, to produce one pound of animal protein takes about 12 times as much land, 13 times as much fossil fuel, and 15 times as much water than the soy equivalent. It’s become so bad now, that nearly 80% of land deforestation in the Amazon is used as cattle pasture, while the whole industry itself uses a staggering 30% of the Earth’s total land mass. Erm, so like, if we stop the industry, that whole running out space population problem wouldnt be a problem any more? Interesting.
Finally, the world’s cattle (excluding pigs and chickens) consume enough food to feed 8.7 billion people, which is more people than we have. Simply put, if everyone stopped eating meat, we would have the solution to the starvation of those in poverty, the climate change issues, and our overcrowding concerns. Its that easy.
08. Keep Your Hormones Human, And Your Stomach Poison-Free
Meat is weird. The animals they come from are more often than not pumped full of some sort of strange hormones, especially in the US, where 80% of livestock are injected with steroids and shit to increase their size and make them hornier, ensuring they breed as much as possible. Antibiotics and antibacterial medicines are also widely reported. Granted, it’s not so bad here in the UK, but there are more studies pointing towards gross things that meat eating does to us humans, including damaging our sperm count, which isnt something Im too keen on doing to myself. Oh, and hey, remember that mad cow disease thing? How about when we were all eating horses from Tescos? What the hell are we putting into our bodies anyway??
Ok, but let’s give your supplier the benefit of the doubt and say the meat you happen to get is 100% safe and happy. Even then, it needs to be kept so specifically that it makes one wonder how legitimate the system really is. If it’s not frozen properly or thawed properly or cooked properly, you can get really sick from parasites poisoning your intestines. Isn’t that a bit strange? Why would Mother Nature supply us with such a fragile food source? Once you stop worrying about these things, it becomes a very peculiar thing to watch other people worry about.
Personally, I dig it that most of my food is edible straight from the plant. Seems more like it was intended to be that way, as if God isn’t out to hurt us or something. But then again, maybe he is. Some people do think so.
09. You Will Have More Money
Of course, this won’t apply to some idiots, but the fact of the matter is that meat is more expensive than veggie substitutes, and the prices continue to rise. According to some studies, by opting to replace your meat protein sources for their veggie equivalents (nuts, beans, tofu), you can save up to 47% on your main meals.
There are other factors too. For example: veggies preserve better, which means you can stock up easier (think about the apocalypse), whereas meat goes off rather quickly when not frozen. Furthermore, rotten meat is useless and even deadly, whilst vegetable waste can go straight back into your garden for compost. Oh, the cycle of life.
But why stop there? You can even go as far as simply
growing your entire meals in your own backyard when it comes to a vegetarian diet. Try raising a cow at home, your neighbours will be well pissed off.
And finally, as we’ve already covered , you will be much healthier, and so any medical bills you come across should be substantially lower too. I mean, perhaps you don’t care about the animals, but you know you love money, and this is a simple way to ensure you have even more of it. Wow, do the benefits ever end?
10. You Are Better Than Everyone
I probably shouldnt be telling you this, but once you become a vegetarian, you get a little card in the mail that grants you entrance into the elite club of veggos, entitling you to look down on all other people who eat meat. You can finally be that dickhead at the party who demands a special meal, and perhaps even force guilt upon those who don’t subscribe to your new found enlightenment, simply by listing the points above. You are now a higher power above everyone else, you are closer to the Universe, you can flaunt your moral superiority, you will start to see in the dark, your genitalia will become smoother, your vocabulary will improve immediately, your sense of direction will sharpen, and you get your own spirit animal who will guide your every decision into success. It’s totally worth it, trust me.
