Showing posts with label rebound. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rebound. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Relationship Questions You Need To Ask

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If you want to fix your relationship, then you need to ask the right question. Relationship repair can be tricky in the best of times, which is why you need to know the right questions, relationship questions, to get the information you need to repair what has been broken.


This is not necessarily an easy thing to do. Most of us wont want to ask these questions, relationship problems or not. This is because the natural human reaction to things is to try and avoid the problem as much as possible.

But relationship problems will not fix themselves. You need to make the effort to fix them, not wait for your ex to magically come around. You are the one who has realized there is a problem, and this means that you have to be the one to do the work to fix it. Whether you like it or not, its become your responsibility.
Which brings us to the questions. Relationship questions are not easy to ask, but the answers will be worthwhile. This is the information you need to do the work that will bring you back to having a healthy relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife.

Question One: What Do You Want?
This is a question you need to ask yourself and your significant other. You need to ask yourself because you need to be able to know and articulate what it is you want from your relationship. You need to ask them so that you know that the things you want from the relationship are, if not the same, then at least compatible.

Question Two: What Were Our Best Times?
This is another question designed to get you looking at how the two of you view your relationship. If you both view different times in your relationship as the best times, this will give you a very strong indication of where things went wrong, which is the point of these questions. Relationship is based on knowing what these questions will tell you.

Question Three: What Dont You Like?
Again, this is a question both of you need to ask. This is an area where it is crucial that you dont assign blame or allow your emotions to be hurt. You need to take a full inventory of where you stand and knowing what it bothering both of you is essential.

Question Four: Where are we Heading?
The point of this is question is to see where you both think the relationship should and where it will go. Without knowing this, you wont know how bad the relationship is. If your partner thinks that the relationship is doomed to failure, this is information you need to know.

The point of doing all this is to find the true answers to these questions. Relationship rescue will be much easier when you have this information, because it will give a roadmap of the problems you need to resolve to have a stronger relationship. This is only the beginning, and you should seek out and find the information that will allow you to overcome these problems.

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Friday, May 6, 2016

Rebound Relationships How To Improve The Chances Of Success

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People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.

So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them.  Yes, they could dump you, but so could anyone new that you meet; so why worry about it. You could just as easily be the person they have been looking for.

Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. It is actually more common for two people to grow apart rather than separate due to an affair or similar reason. If your current partner split from his/her ex, they did it for a reason. If they had been together for a long time, they probably grew apart. Or they may have realised that once the initial attraction had worn off, they were not compatible enough to sustain a long term relationship.

If your new lover has just recently rejoined the single scene, you do need to be a little careful. But you would proceed slowly when dating any new person; wouldn’t you?  Try to find out why they split with their partner, but for heaven’s sake, don’t make them feel like they are being interrogated. Men in particular are very slow to speak about their feelings. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, do not jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive. 

I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what  happened between a couple other than those two people.
 
If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair?  Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.
You may find, just like I did, that your rebound relationship never ends and in fact turns into the love affair of the century. We all need some more fun in our life so try to enjoy yourself with your new partner and see where it leads.  Whoever says you should avoid rebound relationships is missing out on a whole lot of fun.

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Sunday, May 1, 2016

How to handle an ex girlfriend

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I came here wanting an opinion of maybe some people that have been in my shoes. I dont think my friends understand the situation and have really done a great job just making me move along, but they dont feel what I feel.

Here it is.... I worked with a girl when I was a Sophomore in College and she was a Senior in High School. We knew each other since she was 16 and never really thought about dating at all since she was very young. As time progressed and she got older... I got to know her really well. We went on a trip together as friends with no plans and we really hit it off. Long story short, we spent a lot of time together over the summer before she left to go to college out of state and we decided there was a bond and we would try to make this thing work long distance

Lets cut to the chase, the relationship was great.. GOOD COMMUNICATION the whole time, I was really close to her family and would eat dinner over there even without her. My parents treated her so well and they would even text her once in awhile. it was great besides the distance. We made it work, we would see eachother every month 1/2 around and we stayed positive knowing at one point we would be together. We never fought and we had a TON of trust. 2 years went by like this with no problem.

THEN... she moved in with 7 other people and I trusted her but they became the "party house." She never really had a period of time to let loose i guess and party it up. She stayed at my house for a month this past summer and i think the commitment scared her off. She met some guy she had feelings for, told me about it and was very open. She didnt cheat, she explained she felt weird and for the first time she didnt run off when someone hit on her like she usually would. It got her so confused and crazy and eventually I ended it. It was hard on both of us... this was in Sept.

Now, November rolls around and she notices I am with another girl. I am sure she got jealous, maybe thought I would wait around while she figured stuff out... but i didnt. I moved along... I kept communication open with her and said now is not the time. She still is in school for another yr and a half. She writes me a letter saying how she made a mistake, she loves me, im the one she wants to marry etc. I sent her a text saying I will take it to heart. She then writes something like, "I meant every word, I dont know whats wrong with me." I then flew to her state to see a mutual friend and she found out and sent me a text saying it was weird i was in her state and I didnt tell her so obviously I dont want to see her. She said she is going to stop contacting me now for now on and I should enjoy my stay.


Look, I still love her to death, i know deep down she is the one but maybe got blinded like i said with some influences from her friends. I did not respond to her last 2 texts out of respect to my new partner (we are not official but we act like it as of right now). Things are good, but i also feel bad not texting her back. She basically left me for another man and states she loves me still and all this stuff but then doesnt act on it. I even told her if it was me in her situation, I would have been at her door asking to talk.... nothing. I told her last time we spoke on the phone that we need to support eachother and i forgive her for what she did but dont know if I could forget. I love her and her family so much but I just feel like she might be playing games and not even knowing it. I feel she shouldnt want to see me and should put that effort into her new man that she chose to have relations with. I just want to shake her and guide her but I know I can not be the one to do that. How should I approach this with her contact. She says she doesnt want to contact me again but I know she will. Is she just young? Not contacting her the best thing?

Please help guys and girls!

Thanks

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Friday, April 22, 2016

How to get ex girlfriend back from rebound

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If you have suddenly found that your relationship is over and your ex is all of a sudden dating another guy, you can use this to your advantage. Getting your ex girlfriend back is actually easier for you if there is a rebound relationship in play.

How do you know if she is on the rebound?

The easiest way to tell is by the personality of the new bloke she is dating. You may be a person that goes clubbing with your mates at the weekends and the new guy is often the complete opposite from yourself and enjoy staying in at the weekends. The behaviour differentials are what makes the new bloke, the typical rebound. He becomes a replacement for the one true love that isnt there anymore.

There is going to be something that was missing between you both that your ex girl feels the need to replace within her life. Elements that you may not have given her. If she needed to feel close to you and didnt, the bond may not have met her needs. While she does have true feelings for you, she needs that bit more and may have ended it on a rash decision not properly thought over. This in turn creates a need to fill the gap she now has in her life.

The key to getting your ex girlfriend back when a rebound relationship is in play is to let it run its course. She will realize in her own time what aspects it is about you that she loves the most. Dont go chasing after her to convince her that you are the man for her. Let your ex find that out for herself. She needs to come to her own conclusions. Dating someone on the rebound is always a short-term fixed and rarely works out, so dont feel threatened that you may lose her for good. The new guy will be the opposite to your personality and you are going to be getting compared to him constantly in her mind. She will continue to think about you in comparison and remember all your good traits more than the difficult times. Over time she discovers everything she misses about you and will seek your company again.

When she does get in to a position where you find she is getting closer to rekindling your relationship, dont promise her all the changes in the world to make you a better partner. Only promise what you can stick to. You don t want to overdo the changes of yourself that she fell in love with to start with. Simple things like being more considerate to her feelings is a promise that can be kept without changing yourself too much.

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Thursday, April 14, 2016

Relationship Rescue

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Many people begin searching for relationship rescue tactics to try and bring back the spark they once had with a partner when the magic begins to fade. Over time, most relationships grow and change from the loving, romantic bond into a steady routine of daily rituals and habits. In some cases, those habits can make one or both people in the relationship feel as though theyre being taken for granted.

Some people may find that theyre arguing more often than theyre enjoying each other. Others may find that theres nothing left to say to each other or they simply fall into a daily pattern where everything else seems more important than the relationship.

Your relationship doesnt have to be this way.

Often the first avenue many people try in order to re-kindle a relationship is to try and bring back some of the romance. Intimate dinners and provocative lingerie are nice physical attempts at bringing you closer again, but they dont address on the inner, emotional reasons why the relationship may be strained. On the other hand, endlessly talking about your relationship rescue plans and tactics could potentially drive a wedge between you and strain the relationship even further.

There are plenty of relationship rescue tactics you can use to bring that loving spark back into your relationships. Here are some relationship rescue suggestions you can try to help get you back on the right track.

1. Appreciation
When the initial heady, romantic stage of any relationship begins to settle into a comfortable partnership, many people lose sight of the things they originally appreciated in their partner. They begin to focus on the things that irritate them or annoy them or make them mad.

Unfortunately, focusing on all the negative aspects of your partner can often bring about a feeling of resentment, which can lead to arguments and eventually the destruction of the relationship.
Its important to try and find things in your partner that you appreciate. You might appreciate their kindness or their sense of humor or their intelligence or whatever attribute attracted you to them in the first place.

2. Awareness
Live each day of your relationship as though it was the last day you have with your partner. Accidents happen when we least expect them. While this doesnt mean its going to happen to you, consider how youd feel if something did happen and today really was the final day you had together.

What would you regret most? What would you wish youd said or done or changed if you never had the opportunity to do them again?

Your answers to those questions should be the very same things you need to be doing with your partner each and every day. When you live each day as though it was your last, the romance will return almost immediately.

3. Communication
Your partner cant read your mind. Sitting in silence letting a problem brew until youre at bursting point wont make your partner see problems any more clearly and it can compound the negative emotions within you.
Its important to communicate with your partner about your expectations, your needs, your goals and ambitions, your disappointment and anger. Communication is about letting the other person know what youre feeling in a clear, non-blaming manner so that you can both be sure youre on the same page.

Relationship rescue is all about finding ways to be sure you understand and appreciate the little things you do for each other instead of focusing on the negatives. If you can communicate clearly and find ways to appreciate and support your partner, then your relationship rescue attempts will be rewarded.

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Sunday, April 10, 2016

How to hurt my ex girlfriend

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I posted this in breaking up, but it dissappeared.

Long story short, my ex hurt me very badly on purpose.

She broke up with me in February but we got back together in March. We only dated for four months but our chemistry was incredible. She told me she needed me in her life, that she loves me, that I make her want to be a better person, etc. Things were going well until she asked for space again. I didnt let it bother me and apparently that made her change her tune.  She asked me to come over and I did. She said Im still mad at yoy but Im just being cordial. In my own mind, I could see that this wasnt good. That something relatively small could happen and she would let her emotions get the best of her. So I left that night and wrote a break up letter. I was very nice about it, and even told her how much I love her and how important she is to me, but that her emotions get the best of her and that she needs to figure her brain out, and that its hurting me to have to deal with her behavior.

I gave myself space for two days while she kept texting. I gave in and met up with her. Stayed the night at her house and in the morning she asked me what my problem was. Simple: that she was going to break my heart.

Well, that night she asked me to hang out with her at the bar. When she arrived, she ignored me for most of the night. She flirted with other guys in front of me, even some dude she has a history with. Some guy kept hitting on her and she bought him a shot, in front of me. Like a ****, I stayed and tried to keep my cool, but it was written all over my face. She then has the nerve to text that Im being jealous and that I have " no idea the **** you put me through".

She leaves and makes a point to stare at me when she walks out. I go to her house and she tells me shes going to the bathroom and then texts me "you cant stay here anymore, night". She thought I left. I didnt.

A few minutes later she comes out and I confront her as shes trying to leave for her sisters house. I told her that shell never meet another man as good as me. She tries to get into her friends car, but I pulled the door open and told her that she planned all this out, to break my heart, and that she got exactly what she wanted.

The next day she called me, so I blocked her number. She kept calling, and she called me once today (I can see the calls that Ive blocked).

She hurt me so badly, I really feel devastated, and I dont know what to do.

Its worth mentioning that she told me a few days before that she could never hurt me. I cant believe she would do this the same day I told her that I was afraid shed hurt me.

Whats going on here? What do you all think? Thank you very, very much!

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