My Boyfriend Dumped Me Picking Myself Back Up

9:15 PM in a, advice, back, boyfriend, break, distressing, dumped, Get Ex, getting, love, me, my, myself, picking, relationship, situation, through, up

“I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me!” It isnt the end of the world and it isnt even close. Even though it hurts, it isnt going to kill you. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that “my boyfriend dumped me” doesnt mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.

Getting past the idea that “my boyfriend dumped me” isnt going to be easy but it also isnt going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery. If that is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it.

Dont be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesnt mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so dont worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.

It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that “my boyfriend dumped me.” Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but arent following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you dont want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.

You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation. Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another persons perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other persons perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.

While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself. Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have and do something positive with it.

The end result will be a happier you. Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because “my boyfriend dumped me” and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

Read more

Openness To Healing Relationships

9:53 AM in advice, back, boyfriend, break, dumped, Get Ex, healing, me, moving, my, myself, on, openness, picking, relationships, to, up

So many times people will find themselves in a relationship that used to be good, loving, and strong.  But somehow, somewhere, things changed.  Now they want to get that loving relationship back.  The first thing is making sure there is an openness to healing relationships. 

Most relationships that have broken down have done so over a period of time and usually because of hurts, many of which have been small.  These hurts have accumulated over a period of time, though, and now theyve taken on a life of their own. Over time we tend to shut ourselves off from our partner because we dont want to be hurt anymore.  Once that happens you will need to make sure you can open up again and attempt to heal the relationship.   Before you decide that you are going to fix your broken relationship you have to make sure that you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility of more hurt.

And, its not just about you either.  Is your partner willing to open up and work on the relationship?  Many times one partner is more interested in salvaging the relationship than another.  If thats the case and your partner has made it clear, either by what theyve said or their overall attitude, that they have no interest in working very hard to save the relationship, you might as well call it quits. You cant do it all yourself and you cant force your partner to try.

If, on the other hand, you both agree that you will try to work on the relationship the first thing youll both need to do is look at yourselves.  You need to look at yourself and your partner needs to look at themselves. You are trying to honestly figure out what part youve played in the breakdown of the relationship and whether or not you will be committed to making the changes necessary to fix it.  Again, both of you have to admit their part in the break down of the relationship as well as be willing to try to change their behavior.
After all that the next thing you will both need to do is talk to each other.  This doesnt mean yelling, intimidating, or getting mad.  It means and open, adult discussion about how you are feeling.  You each have to be able to honestly speak your mind and explain what you think has happened, how you think it can be fixed, what you are willing to do to help fix it, and how you are feeling overall.

This step is vitally important and potentially very dangerous.  This is the part where someone could get hurt feelings and that could lead to a big blowout.  In order for this to work, its crucial that you both give the other person time to talk, and not get mad or defensive about what they have to say.

If you are sure you and your partner really have an openness to healing relationships, and youre wiling to work on the steps Ive listed here than the two of you will have a real shot at getting back to a place in your relationship where you can be happy to be together, and happy to be back to normal.

Read more

Please Help Me Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

12:53 PM in back, boyfriend, do, dumped, ex, get, Get Ex, girlfriend, help, me, my, myself, next, picking, please, to, up, what

How many times do men ask their friends how do I get my ex girlfriend back?  Honestly, I thought it was a womans prerogative to change her mind.  Some men just dont know when they are onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the ridiculous.

My male friends have finished with girls for:
1) wearing the wrong type of shoes!
2) Her mother
3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.

Now ok I know that a pretty face can turn any mans head and there is the dreaded notion that a woman may turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes?  If women didnt date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died out long ago.  Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!

I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their partners.  On one side of the list, you put her good points.  Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you?  Does she cook for you?  Does she laugh at your jokes?  Are you attracted to her?

On the other side of the list, they can put the things that wind them up.  Ok she may nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she might stop.  She may not want more than a cuddle every evening but five times a week doesnt mean that she isnt caring enough.

Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper may seem like a cold approach but it is a very practical way of seeing what a great relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the two lists and decide if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you are doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Sometimes we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely.  But loneliness is not a reason to get back together.

If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast.  Great life partners do not grow on trees.  She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be mad enough to do that? 

Take a leaf out Richard Geres book and put some romance back into her life.  Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites.  Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her.  Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out.  In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you are not a complete disgrace, you wont have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.

Read more