How To Win Ex Back Battle For Her Heart

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Do you know how to win ex back?  When a woman has left a man, she probably has a good reason, at least in her own mind.  Thus, you have to be prepared to battle for her heart if you want to win ex back. And you will probably be able to get your ex back.

A relationship has a beginning, a middle and an end.  The question is whether you are in the middle and just taking a hiatus or whether it is really over and you are at the end. 
If your girlfriend wants to start the relationship anew, you need to be able to work things out on a fresh start.  You should plan out your steps ahead of time if you want the new relationship to work out better than the old one did.

First of all, consider why you broke up.  Were there underlying problems that plagued your relationship?  If so, how can you fix them going forward? 

Second, analyze why you want your ex back.  Do you just feel lonely because she’s not around?  If so, any woman will do.  But, if you have a hole in your heart that only she will fill, that’s different.

Third, you need to become the person that she needs.  Think back to what you were like when she fell in love with you.  Have you changed?  Did you stop doing interesting things when you devoted all of your time to her?  Have you stopped going to the gym thinking that there’s no reason to stay in shape now that you’ve snagged the girl?  Become the person she wants to win ex back.

Fourth, consider that the first thing you say to your ex after a break up may be the most important words ever to come out of your mouth.  The wrong words can change the balance of the relationship.  Don’t beg her to come back.  Don’t do anything to irritate her.  She probably still harbors good feelings for you and you don’t want to do anything that would change this.

Fifth, you can use the good memories you’ve built to your advantage.  Talk about the good times you had.  If she gave you a special sweater, wear it when you know she’s going to be around.  If you can, arrange to meet at a place that has meaning for you for a quick drink.

Sixth, try to mirror her words and body language.  If she uses an uncommon word, try to work it into the conversation yourself.  If she places her left hand on her cheek, do the same.  Don’t overdo it or be obvious, but this kind of “mirror imaging” gets you back in synch.

Seventh, let her know that you are thinking about her.  Go out of your way to send her a card on her birthday.  If you know she has a big review at work, send her an encouraging note. 

By following these seven steps, you should be able to win ex back.  As long as you are still on friendly terms, you can use your friendship to become romantic once more.

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How To Keep A Woman Happy

5:18 AM in 10, 5, a, become, favourite, Get Ex, happy, how, internet, keep, my, on, reasons, the, things, to, vegetarian, woman

So you want to know how to keep a woman happy?  It is not easy to do but once you master it, you will win the heart of your woman forever.  So it is worth a try right?
A Woman sometimes just needs to talk.  Men are programmed to find solutions to every problem but sometimes we just want you to listen to us.  We dont want you to look after us or solve every issue we raise but just to listen.
Yes I know she can spend two hours on the phone to a friend that she is meeting that afternoon anyway.  It goes back to the days of cavemen. Whilst the men were out hunting, the women were at home where their ability to bond with others was directly proportionate to their chances of survival. They depended on the other women to look after them and their families should they fall sick. Childbirth in those days often resulted in a death sentence for these women. 
Women like to go to the toilets in twos and threes.  It is just a girl thing and the sooner you come to accept it the better.  Dont get paranoid, we are not going to discuss you in detail - that will happen tomorrow.
Buy your lady flowers. But rather than buying her a bunch of roses, send her one of her favorite flowers every so often. This way she will know that you are thinking of her rather than just making a grand gesture.
Little things mean a lot to most women.  So regardless of the fact that you are working 60 plus hours per week to pay your mortgage or put the kids through school, always find time to ring her at least twice a day. Ring to say that you miss her and then ring her back later on to tell her what time you expect to be home.
Say thank you when she does something ordinary.  Everyone including women like to be appreciated so if you come home and it is obvious she has cleaned the bathroom, notice it and make an effort to keep it clean.  That means helping your towel to find its way off the bathroom floor.
If your woman has had a hard day at the office, run her a hot bath and hand her a glass of chilled wine whilst you put the kids to bed and prepare dinner.   Don’t ruin it by expecting sexual favors in return.  In a recent survey, when women were asked what would make them happy, one of the most common answers was to be kissed without being groped!
Surprise her with a note under her pillow telling her how much you love her or appreciate her.  Ok she will probably assume you have done something wrong and wonder if you are feeling guilty but underneath she will be pleased.
Making a woman happy involves doing the little things in life just that little bit more.

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My 5 Favourite Things On The Internet

2:32 AM in 10, 20, 5, ever, favourite, Get Ex, girls, hottest, ii, internet, is, my, number, on, part, reasons, the, things, why

I know what you are thinking: the internet is a pretty big place. Well, bravo, genius, did you come up with that all by yourself? Or did I just come up with it for you? It doesn’t matter, the fact is that, yes, it is a big place. I myself reached the end of the internet once, and it was a complete mess of long-forgotten cat images, a bunch of gore videos primarily focusing on genitalia, and a gigantic demon with Nicolas Cage’s face who claimed to have my bank details. It took a while to get home from there.

Just listen to me for one second. While the task of writing a list such as this may seem impossible to some one like you, I am no ordinary person. For example: the ring and pinkie toe on my right foot do not bend. There are other things too, Im sure. I reckon by now this introduction has reached a decent enough length so that it wraps around the main image, and now I will move on.

05. The Beetlejuice Twitter Bot

Imagine my horror when, upon writing this entry, I discovered that this once beloved Twitter account was now defunct, the genius retiring the idea around August this year. GODDMANIT, WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE END UP LEAVING ME?

But even if its existence has evaporated into the afterlife, its presence still lingers in the joy it once granted me, hence why I cherish its memory by keeping this point intact. I just feel sorry for you lot only discovering this anomaly now, as you will never know the joy of tweeting the words “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” only to have this bot proudly spring into action upon your mentions, proclaiming “ITS SHOWTIME!”, just like in the mooovie! Lolyay!

A moment of silence for its passing, and while we do that, let’s look at some other funny botty Twitter accounts in hopes that this passage justifies its worth afterall.

Yes, You’re Racist
An account which calls out people who tweet “I’m not racist, but...” because any sentence that starts that way is more than likely racist.

Your in America Bot
An account which corrects people when they say something to the effect of “Your in America, speak English!” Oh, the irony.

Stealth Mountain
Similarly, this account corrects people when they say “sneak peak” instead of “sneak peek”. I enjoy such things.

04. The Same Photo of Jim Carrey Every Day Facebook Page

Nothing will brighten up your life more than the same photo of Jim Carrey, every single morning, delivered straight to your Newsfeed. Trust me, I live a very active and rewarding existence, but when this post shows its smiling face, I know my beautiful day has truly just begun. And I am not alone, as the page itself boasts over 150,000 Likes, while the identical image racks up 1000s of further Likes on a daily basis—many of which are my friends. They probably dont know this, but I desperately spend most of my early hours attempting to Like said post before they get a chance, as if some sick competitive ritual.

However, the secret magic of this image lies not in the daily delivery, but in the comments. Here you will find many different users honouring the practice of routinely commenting the exact same thing every day, to the point of madness. There are many, but the most popular by far revolve around Cody’s story, like so:

“Its good to see that in this world of changing chaos, that there are some things that will never change” - Cody Hendricks (close to 200 Likes a day)
“Lean on me, when youre not strong. And Ill be your friend.” - The Official Page’s response to Cody Hendricks (over 50 Likes every day)
“Im not the Cody youre looking for.” - Cody Mann (around 100 Likes a day)

Naturally, it doesn’t end there, and so I encourage you to go forth and find your own favourites, whilst welcoming the safe regularity of this wonderful distraction.

03. Spinal Tap’s IMDB Rating Goes to 11

If you haven’t seen This Is Spinal Tap, you should. Immediately. Stop reading, find it online, watch it, and then come back. Do not eat nor sleep nor speak nor fuck your boyfriend nor lick your teeth until you get this done, and then thank me in the comments below, to which Ill respond with "you’re welcome".

Did you do what I said? If so, great! I have a few more things I’d like you to do, mail me for details. And please continue reading.
If you have already seen the mockumentary, good on ya! You understand the importance of keeping up-to-date on significant cult classics. And please continue reading.
However, if you have chosen to proceed without viewing the film, you are an idiot, and I experience no guilt as I ruin this particular scene for you, primarily because the “up to eleven” idiom has become such a large part of popular culture parodies, that you’ve missed far too many jokes already. In a way, I’m actually just helping you out. Once again, you’re welcome.

ANYWAY, a very quick summary: the scene in question from the film presents guitarist Nigel Tufnel, as he shows-off the Spinal Tap Marshall amplifiers, which go to volume 11 rather than 10. It’s one louder.

Here is that exact same thing I described, except the actual video clip, which I probably should started have with.

Which brings us to the great dudes at IMDB, who recognised the significance of such a potent line, and took it upon themselves to ensure that this movie’s rating went to 11. God bless you all, really.

02. All Wikipedia Articles Lead to Philosophy

Unlike the other entries on this list, the “All Wikipedia Articles Lead to Philosophy” phenomenon is just that: a phenomenonon. This was not some intentional man made lolsies, but rather, something that just kinda ... happened.

It works like this: by clicking on the very first (non-parenthesized, non-italicised, non-external) link in the main text of any Wikipedia article, and then continuing to do so as you ride along subsequent articles, you have a 94.52% chance of ending up on the Philosophy page (usually within 23 clicks). Granted, you may get stuck in a loop or fall on a linkless piece, but that more than likely won’t happen. Try it yourself! Go to a random article and start clicking! Count your steps! Tell your friends! LOVE YOURSELF.

And you know what the best part about this is? Nobody is entirely sure why it happens, ooooooh. However, there are some theories, the most popular of which stating that (due to the Wikipedia Manual of Style guidelines on how to write the lead section of an article) contributors are encouraged to start an article by defining its topic, leading the user into a wider more umbrella subject. And seeing as philosophy is known as the "mother of all sciences", I guess it kinda makes sense that every road leads there. Man, that’s some deep shit.

01. Futurama Neutral Balance YouTube Likes

I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

Which is to say, I do! I really do! I mean, what is going on here? WHO KEEPS DOING THIS????

It’s pretty much the simplest thing ever: Six years ago some dude uploaded a 4 second video to YouTube, a clip from Futurama titled Neutral Response, and the internet decided they liked this. In fact, they liked it so much that theyve watched it over 4,850,000 times. And, before we knew it, a suicidal mission had developed, one to maintain the neutral balance, proving that we all have strong feelings about having no strong feelings one way or the other. If you’re confused, just look at the Likes and Dislikes, and then you’ll be part of the team. Godspeed.

Of course, as is the nature with such a fragile system, it has become a little bit of a war, and there will always be those kids on the playground who want to watch the world burn. With that in mind, you might be unfortunate enough to see the Likes/Dislikes sway one way or another, much to everyone’s embarrassment. However, generally by simply refreshing the page, you should find that order has been swiftly restored. If not, maybe try help rectify the situation yourself? Be a pal. Make yourself useful for once.

Regardless, it’s my favourite thing on the internet, excluding this one porno video where Hillary Scott takes it ass to pussy over and over again, risking an infection but proving she is a professional whose priority is to please the part of my perverse brain which has retarded beyond recognition.

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