How to quickly get over your ex girlfriend

1:42 PM in an, ex, get, Get Ex, girlfriend, how, off, over, overcome, piss, quickly, to, your

Need someone to blame for your lackluster love life? Point your finger at your ex. According to a new study from the University of Toronto, your old flame gives you fits long after the breakup.

Researchers tracked 123 people in relationships for six months, asking them to rate their feelings of affection both for their current partner and their most recent past partner. Turns out that as your current relationship goes sour, you begin to wistfully reminisce about the good times with your ex. “She starts to seem like a much better alternative when your new relationship isn’t going well,” says study author Stephanie Spielmann, a Ph.D. candidate in psychology at Toronto.

What’s more, people who started a relationship with relatively positive feelings for their ex saw their new relationship quickly fall apart, the study found.

That doesn’t mean you should let nostalgia for your ex push aside the legitimate reasons why you broke up. “Trying to get back together is often associated with feelings of anger, hostility and sadness,” Spielmann says. “Plus, on-again, off-again relationships tend to be of lower quality.” It’s true: According to new research from Kansas State University, people in cyclical relationships tend to feel less satisfied, have lower self-esteem, and have more doubts about the future of their relationship than more stable couples.

In order to forge a new dating path without worrying about your ex, you need to make your breakup stick. Here’s how. (And for more tips on cutting bait, learn How to Send Her Packing for Good.)

1. Renew Your Space

You were probably wise enough to give back her stuff, and you may have even tossed most of her gifts (although we don’t blame you for keeping that signed NFL game ball). But plenty of your belongings can remind you of your ex. “Get rid of that blanket you cuddled together under, move your bed, buy a new bedspread, and rearrange your couch and your flatscreen so the familiar look of your living room doesn’t stir up old memories,” says Melysha Acharya, founder of BrokenHeartedGirl.com and author of The Breakup Workbook for Men.

2. Get an Outside Perspective

Ask your close friends what they really thought of your ex-girlfriend. “The key questions to ask are: ‘Did I seem happy with my ex?’ and ‘Did you think she was good for me?’” says Acharya. Their unvarnished opinion will help you see past your idealized memories. If she broke your heart, chances are your friends will loyally hate her for you. But if it turns out they actually liked your ex, take that as a sign that you’re meeting the right women and you’ll be able to find a better match soon. (Living in the city? Discover 3 Ways to Meet the Woman of Your Dreams.)

3. Rebuild Your Ego

You may feel like you’ll never meet anyone better than your ex, and you fear you’ll be alone forever. So even if you’re not ready to date yet, set up an online dating profile and browse the available women in your area. A 2009 study by Spielmann found that merely thinking about the number of available women you know helps reduce feelings of attachment to your ex. (Read The 10 Commandments of Online Dating before plunging ahead.)

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How to overcome your ex girlfriend

7:06 AM in an, back, ex, Get Ex, girlfriend, how, jealous, make, overcome, to, want, you, your

This is the number one question I get asked most of the time – right after the question on how to win her back.

And it’s difficult to answer. How do you get over your ex girlfriend?

I guess that we have all been there at some point in our lives.

Relationship starts. Everything’s good. Suddenly, everything isn’t so good. And you break up. That’s life!

I have had my share of it, so I speak from experience here.

You have probably shared lots of good times, and now it’s gone.

No more holding hands, no more crawling in close when it’s cold outside, no more kisses under the moonlight, no more anything.

For some it’s easier to accept than others. But I don’t think anyone like breaking up.

For the first few days, after realizing the truth, you feel pretty awful. This is definitely the worst part of a break up, and also the part that defines your emotions for the next couple of weeks.

So how do you go about handling a break up?

 

As thoughts are really hard to control, I’ll give you a “timeline” for your emotions.

I know it might sound a little strange, but it’s how I personally handle the break up, and for that reason, I figure it might be useful for some people.

Here we go:

The first few days I cry my heart out. I let out all of my negative feelings, and do almost nothing more all day than to “think about her”. Whenever I try to slip in a positive thought, I’ll disregard it right away. It’s my privelege to be sad just a few days a year, I’ll explain why later on.

What’s really important in this phase is that you don’t talk to anyone about the break up. At least not more than something like “we’re not together anymore”.

Another really important thing to do is to stop listening to love songs. At this point, you will most likely identify with them, and I know from experience that this can really f**k up your emotions later on.

So just let yourself be as sad as you can, without talking to anyone, and without getting feelings from anyone else than yourself.

Afterwards, if you have followed my advice, you should almost be sick thinking about her. 3 days might not be a long time in a calendar, but in your head, it will almost feel like it’s ages ago you broke up.

You will start realizing that she wasn’t “the one” for you, and that you have your whole life waiting, along with millions of cute girls.

Over the next few weeks, you might have some reoccurring thoughts about her. That’s fine. As long as you realize how bad she was for you, and that you’re not going to get back together.
I think this is the part most guys do wrong. They keep thinking they can get back together, and this makes it incredibly hard to move on.

For a couple of days, try to just “get on with it”. Don’t spend time thinking about her, just live your life like you always have.

After a week or two, you’ll see that you do fantastic without her. You might not be completely “over her”, but you’re definitely on the right path to getting so.

Personally, after about 2-3 weeks, I completely stop thinking about her. Well, not completely, she’s still “my ex”, but I’m by no means sad about the fact that we’re not together anymore.

Soon, I’ll meet another girl, twice as nice, and it’s all uphill from here with happiness. Until we break up.
Life’s strange isn’t it?

General tips on handling the break up

 

• Stop stroking the banana fantasizing about her. It’s just wrong… AND it tightens your emotional bonds to her. Not good man!
• You’d be amazed what kissing a new girl can do. Start meeting new people as soon as possible.
• Accept that she wasn’t the one. She was just a girl, whatever your brain might tell you. You have a “her” hole in your stomach right now, and you probably think that only she can fill it. But what the hole really is is just a woman shaped hole, and any women can fill it.
• Take control of the situation. Don’t let her define your feelings, only you can do that.
• Start living again. After feeling down for a few days, a week, or maybe more, start living again. If you have always wanted to start playing tennis, now is the time to do it. Or start playing guitar, or start painting. Anything will work, just gain some kind of new passion, or relive an old one.

Why it’s important to be sad at first

 

This might not work for everyone, but I can only conclude stuff from my own experience, so that’s what I’m going to do.

The reason I choose to be sad at first, is to take control. It’s my choice to cry, she has nothing to do with it. Not directly, anyway.

In my opinion it’s really bad to try to run from your feelings, because you will feel sad. Best just to admit it and let it out.

After those few days, you will also realize that someone that made you so sad, wasn’t right for you. This is also important.

So now to wrap it up, I would like to know one thing.

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How to pick up an ex girlfriend

3:22 AM in about, an, care, ex, Get Ex, girlfriend, how, not, overcome, pick, to, up, your

One of the most painful things a man can experience in his lifetime is breaking up with a cherished girlfriend. Whether you saw it coming or not isn’t really important right now. Your heart is aching and you’re experiencing the feeling of intense loneliness without her by your side. This situation is severely impacting your happiness right now.

You’re probably sitting there trying your best to think of ways to get your ex girlfriend to come back to you. I’m sure your first instinct is to go on over to her house and try to reason with her so she’ll take you back.

Before you do something you’ll regret later, take a moment to consider some things first:

1) Are you focusing mostly on the breakup and not what caused the breakup?

Your gut is telling you to do something that will end this painful situation quick. I can see why you’d feel that way. Nobody likes feeling heartache. Your natural tendency is to focus on the physical separation between you two. Take a moment, though, to think about all the things that may have led to you two splitting up.

Relationships don’t fall apart for no reason.

What kind of problems were you having before things got to this point?

What did you argue about the most?

When did things turn from good to bad?

Answering these questions honestly will help you figure out what went wrong and how you might be able to improve those things and get back on track.

2) Realize that this is an opportunity for you to improve your life

Your mind is a powerful thing and you can control how you handle your current situation. Instead of depression and anxiety, choose to be empowered and enlightened. Everyone has something about themselves they can work on. Your broken heart can not only heal, but you can become a generally happier person if you choose to be that way.

Start paying attention to the way you look and feel everyday. If you can stand to lose a few pounds, then now is the time to focus on getting in shape. If you know you need to stop smoking or drinking too much, then now is a good time to work on these issues. If you want to expand your knowledge, then take a class or go to the library and borrow books on interesting topics.

Feed your mind and body with good things and you’ll be amazed at the response you get from your ex love.

3) Create a getting back with your girlfriend plan

There is no way you’re going to be able to force your way back into your girlfriend’s life by acting angry, phony, insincere, too needy or playing childish games. No, you need a real strategy for winning her back.

This is a woman that means a lot to you so you’re going to need a plan of action that will be tailored to getting her to see that you’re the only one who can give her all the love and attention she needs.

To do this, you’re going to have to be brutally honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses.

What do you have to offer her? What do you bring to the table? What is she really seeking in a lifetime partner? Your plan must take all of this into consideration in order for you to reach your goal.

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